Friday night lights.

 

This Friday the 13th perhaps was the saddest day I've had for the first time in a long time.  I was about to make the worst mistake of my life, but something came up--life really has ways to turn sad days around. So instead of continuing the streak of bad choices, I did nothing. And last Friday the 13th, nothing was better than something.

It all started with a phone call.

And ended with a big smile on my face, and a re-return to the one-of-the-boys me.

So I spent last night with a good friend and confidante, who never ever fails to make me laugh. He just knows when to be there for me and when to keep his distance (well, at least now he does). So just as he expected, I spilled my rants on him about my family, the emotionally unavailable boy, and my stupid self. And he made jokes about it instead of giving me heart-soothing advice. Well, that's what he does all the time, and it actually works. He doesn't tell me what to do, or what not, he just listens and then, makes me laugh. Why, you might ask? Because he knows I will not listen to him in the first place. Heh. He knows that at the end of the day I will make the right choice. And I always do, each time he's there.

There was a blog worthy part of our conversation last night, and it made a huge impact on me and on my decision-making attempt. Here it goes:

We were at the smoking area of 2nd floor trinoma, looking at the busy street right across us, when I noticed that all the faux coconut trees' trunks are covered with christmas lights. And all of it was damn beautiful.

Me: Tingnan mo yung mga puno. Ang ganda nung effect nung christmas lights. Parang walang trunk sa loob.

Him: Oo nga no.

Me: Ang ganda no?

Him: Alam mo, masaya ka naman pala eh.

Me: Ha?

Him: Masaya ka.

Me: Bakit?

Him: Kasi napapansin mo pa yan.

Me: Alin?

Him: Kasi napapansin mo pa na maganda yung mga puno na nababalutan ng christmas lights.

And my entire face lighted up after hearing what he said. It's true. I am happy despite it all. Yes, I was sad but if  I would not focus on the sadness, and notice other things such as the night lights and the stars, or his presence, then my sadness would slowly disappear. And it did.

And I realized there's no need to be hurt, or to make a decision. There is nothing to decide about. If I did, I'd just add it up to the number of bad choices I made in my life.

This post doesn't have a point. Or a punchline. Or something important I intend to share with my readers (if I have one). This post is simply for him. How thankful I am now that he proved that our relationship isn't really reduced to nothing. How thankful I am, that on this night, I was with him.

Thank you.